Eggnog

Story Recipe

One way to get THC out of your pot is to soak it in alcohol and then cook off the alcohol until you are left with thick oily psychoactive goodness. There are recipes online for how to do this, but before you dive into such a project, think about this - alcohol fumes are flammable. Do you really want to risk a kitchen fire for another way to partake? I didn't think so. A much safer alternative is to make a tincture out of your bud.

The principle is simple - grind up a bunch of weed, cover it with booze and wait a few days. I tried just that over the holidays. I dumped a handful of trimmings into a jar, added some rum and let it sit. A couple of days later, I strained out the weed and made a Rum and Coke. The results were just fine. The effects started just like any other cocktail but slowly morphed into a nice buzz. It was nothing to write home about, but enough to get me experimenting. I tried a few tips I found on the internet and eventually hit on a procedure that enhanced the effects. I took this knowledge and concocted a glass of eggnog so festive that Santa put me on the "Nice" list for the next three Christmases.

It turns out that the THC in your pot is not the same THC that gets into your serotonin uptake receptors. You need to convert it somehow - either bind it a fat like oil or butter, or heat it gently. For the eggnog, I tried both techniques. First, I took an eighth of nice Sativa and added it to a cup of milk and put the mixture into the crockpot. A day later I strained the milk and put it in the fridge. The fat in the milk sticks to the THC in the dope and converts it into a usable form. Next, I took a bundle of leaves and spread them out on a cookie sheet and stuck that in an oven at 250 degrees for an hour. The heat converts the THC and makes the leaves grind up nicer. I ground the leaves and put them in a jar with some 151 rum. Using high test booze speeds the dissolving process. I wrapped the jar in a towel to keep the light out and let this sit on a shelf for a couple of days.

Once the milk and the rum were ready, I made some nog. Here's how -

The first step is to grab a mixing bowl and drop in the yolks from four eggs. There are several ways to separate eggs that you can find on good cooking websites. I like to crack the egg into a bowl and fish out the yolk by cupping my fingers under it. It takes some practice to get it right, but this is a skill that will serve you well in the kitchen for the rest of your life. If you are not perfect at separating eggs, don't get too uptight, for this recipe you can get some white in the yolks, just don't leave any yolk in the whites. Whisk the yolks until they get bright yellow. Then, keep beating while you slowly add a third of a cup of sugar. If you have ever made custard, this is the same procedure. When the sugar is dissolved, add a pint of infused milk and a cup of heavy cream. Toss in a pinch of nutmeg and put this aside and get the egg whites.

If you have forearms like Popeye, you can do this next part by hand, for the rest of us an electric mixer is a great idea. You want to beat the whites until they turn all foamy and when you pull the beater out, it leaves a soft peak. Then add a spoonful of sugar and beat some more until the peaks get stiff. Eggs can do a million cool things and one of the coolest is how the whites whip up. How anyone ever did this before 1908 when Herbert Johnson invented the electric mixer is beyond me.

Scoop the beaten whites into the bowl with the yolks and stir them together until they are thoroughly mixed. You might be wondering why you went to all the trouble of separating the eggs just to put them back together now. It's because that's the way cooks do it. Plus it doesn't work any other way. Go ahead and try it. See? It's just not the same, is it?

Another thing about eggs - chickens can get salmonella. Salmonella can get into the eggs. When you eat the eggs raw (or drink them) the salmonella can get into you. You do not want to get salmonella poisoning. One way to lower your risk is to use pasteurized eggs. Another way is to not drink this eggnog. You can look up the issue on the internet and decide if the risk is worth it.

You can leave the mixture in the refrigerator until you are ready to serve. Then, pour the eggnog and a shot of rum into a tall glass, put some festive tunes on and watch the lights on the tree while you enjoy your beverage. Don't forget to leave Santa a glass next to his cookies.

 

 

 


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